I have never been stuck on the numbers. Particularly, the number on the scale or the number in my pants. I have always said to myself, “If I am happy with how I feel and look, then I don’t care what the numbers are.” However, there have been times in my life where I have been too indulgent with the pleasures of food and beverage and been stuck on self-loathing.
As a child, I was skinny. Some of my family members thought I looked malnourished! I remember my uncle saying, “Victoria, you eat like a bird!” What a misconception that is! Actually birds do eat A LOT.
As an adult, my weight always seems to be fluctuating. Events in my life seem to encourage these changes. For instance, in the beginning of my relationship with my ex, I was healthy. I was also 19 years old! I have many talents but preparing a meal is not one of them. I can cook, I just don’t. This skillset that I lack, often leads to a lot of dining out. By the end of that relationship…let’s just say I was fluffier.
On my 27th birthday I joined a gym and signed up with a personal trainer. I worked hard and it paid off…for a little while anyway.
Every year I set a daily challenge for myself. A few years ago, I decided to celebrate ALL of the holidays of the year. This challenge served as a reminder to rejoice in the everyday moments of appreciation, laughter, and love and in this journey we call life. It was an awesome year of playing checkers and kazoos and hugging trees…but it was also a year of eating, pasta and corn chips and pies. #celebrateeveryday was quickly turning into #diabeteseveryday!
Toward the latter part of this past summer, I lost some weight. The not-so-concerned numbers girl, noticed the digits were lower than the time she had lost weight before. But then life took some disappointing and unexpected turns. My tank was draining to empty and I was running on fumes. I started talking to food about my feelings. (not literally…I’m not a crazy person!) By the time the Florida winter arrived (LOL), I was more insulated!
I am an emotional eater. I am a foodie. I’m Italian/Irish. ¾ of me eats + ¼ of me drinks=best/worst ethnic combination! Food is social. Want to catch up with a friend? Chances are you’re meeting at a restaurant with two-for-one drinks and bottomless apps.
So here I am, yet again. There is more of me now…a couple more chins and a couple more stretch marks and a couple more lbs…
I am hopeful that in time, I can and will be happy with how I feel and look.
Or maybe I’ll be like Bridget Jones,
“…and yes I will always be just a little bit fat.”
-I hope you found authenticity, honesty and humor in this post-